I expect stuff. and thats bad. very bad.

Remember my blog post titled "and now i begin to see the evil in your eye'' ?
a ramble about the above topic is about to commence, please buckle up and insert your heavy duty earplugs provided by the attendants which will be coming around soon.

Its the little things

that poke at you

and then it is repeated in one way or another

and over time

the poking because sharper

and it evolves into slices

but i'm generalising.

Because the poker is a friend

Someone who you treasured

and gave your full trust not to be the one

that would ever make you feel like that

or this now.

Now you can't believe how they can do it.

They do it so obviously,

so unsubtly.

what they are saying

what they are doing

are so clear in your mind

that you wonder how they could never realise,

or think about what the

words that tumble out of their mouths

so carelessly

but what is their intention?

if it wasn't to hurt me?

or was it?

*removes earplugs* HAI you can listen now. if the earplugs were faulty by some chance, i apologise. ANYWAY. at some point today, i was really happy because i made an announcement to my year group telling our tutor group to bring in their $5 and dorcas garments and that i had lollies for them too..and it WORKED! i've already got $25!!!!!!!!!! i was stressing heaps...(yes that is what i do.)


If you ever wondered,
i do have a tag box very muchly now ><
so if you feel like it say HAI.

The clouds were rather hormonal today...

Annie: "Debbie you haven't blogged in aaaggeeesss!!"
Debbie: " YOU READ MY BLOG?!?"
Annie: "yeaaah..."
Debbie: *U* sparkly eyes


this blog post is for annie! and for the one or two people out there who even check this blog of mine..:D
so...
I KINDA FORGOT MY HOUSE KEYS AGAIN....so i'm sitting outside but enjoying the accompany of aeroplanes, birds and the everlasting sky...it feels kinda weird to stare blankly at the sky without pepper though...the clouds today are grey, gold, flat, tiny, airy and misty.


To Anita, Jo and Jo: thankyou for mentioning me in your blogs, you make me feel rather special...therefore i shall mention you. anitanitanitanitanitanitanitanitanita, jojojojojojojojojojojojojojojojojojojojojojojojojojojo. :D


some people are just really nice, even if you don't talk to them often, if you just say hi, they'll talk to you and listen to you. other people are nice because they talk to you about random stuff and you agree on stuff nodd simultaneously. maybe others are also nice because they wait for you, or do your hair, or say nice things to you, want to talk to you, smile at you or because they share a little about their life with you. Everyone has a story because the sum of everyday of their life does not mesh whatsoever with yours and it is therefore interesting. This is like (ahhah i'm using a simile) if everyone was a single jigsaw puzzle and all the edges were different, maybe you have a tiny corner that fits with someone elses and that single thread is what links you together and allows you to know about others. Because others are interesting. because they are other than you.


p.s someone asked me a most curious question today: Debbie, are you Thai?
I don't know, but that sort of made my day. I know i'm weird, but maybe my weirdness makes me just as normal as you.

But boy if i ran away from home...

*to all those people who read this and think i was bludging school...I was about to get sick and i didn't want to risk it since i have exam after exam next week


besides that..
TODAY WAS AMAZING. i woke up and cooked some porridge for my mum, sister and myself. (of course)
heres how you make it:

1. Add approximately one small bowl of water (should be 1/3 of the people eating it)
2. Add 1.5 tablespoons of oat for every person eating it
3. Turn stove on
4. Add two small bowls of milk (should be 2/3 of the people eating it)
5. Let it boil
6. Add 2 eggs (should be 2 eggs for every 3 people)
7. Add 2-3 tablespoons of sugar (should be slightly less than a tablespoon per person)
8. Turn off stove
9. Spoon lovingly into three separate bowls
10. Eat warm and enjoy with people you love

I then completed my maths homework and sat around taking pictures of Pepper...before i knew it, it was lunch time! i boiled some noodles and ate it with XO sauce, soy sauce and dumpling sauce (?) I watched Kiki's delivery service on my laptop (which i downloaded from the school clickview library =D) and GAWD. I WANNA FLY. I'm so jealous of her and somehow find i relate to her in some ways...watch it. Studio Ghibli films never fail you.

Sky-watched and slept on the table outside on the balcony with Pepper and madly took photos like a crazy woman for the scenery presented before me was so darn pretty that you can't just sit there, but find you need to click that teeny button over and over again.

SUDDENLY INSPIRED...(same feeling as when I was randomly motivated to create the 'Polly in a pocket of Wonderland' animation. If you know me you can find this on my facebook photos, if you don't...then too bad.) TO HAVE A PICNIC WITH PEPPER AND READ FRANKIE.

So clearly, i packed the essentials.

• Phone, Camera, I-pod, House keys
• Picnic Blanket
• Ex-school environmentally friendly bag
• Bottle of water
• Plastic bag (for Pepper's poop)
• A treat for Pepper
• A single piece of Kitchen paper
• Frankie
• Half a coles snicker-cookie wrapped in a paper bag

Wore long socks over black leggings, converse, a white long-sleeve and San Francisco Hoodie.

Sat there nibbling at the half cookie (which i still haven't finished), drinking water, absorbing vitamin D and reading Frankie as envisioned. No, you can't imagine how happy and peaceful i felt until you do it yourself in a massive field facing the gladesville bridge over the blue water and shadows casted over the greeny green grass.

In conclusion: I do believe that in the past few days God has been helping me pass both little and massive obstacles and for me to appreciate stuff and live fully.

p.s i think i want to move to the country. Anita: that lovely spot facing the ocean near otford. In 15 years at 12:00 noon. see you there?

To what degree will this madness stop?

WHO THE HECK CREATED HOMEWORK.
clearly we are wealthy enough to live a luxurious and comfortable lifestyle, yet we find it in our human brain to have the guts to ruin by making life difficult. Exams, homework, SCHOOL.
so we have school to learn. but why are we starting it so early? why can't we start school at 10 for example at the level of kindergarten? this idea wouldn't seem so strange if it were how socieity went by us. anyway, that would mean our childhood would last that few more years and we'd take longer to mature, or whatever. i don't know what i'm talking about.

the weekend SHOULD. be 3 days. these days i'm going to sleep at 11 or worse. and the day consists of my struggle to stay awake. why? because of work. assignments. tests. study.
a whole day should be dedicated to doing nothing. it should be illegal to do any work. Ideally, this is what God made Sunday for. but like i said. Humanity had other ideas.

And now i begin to see the evil in your eye.

I know its not much, but there are now two cases where a friend has called my decision 'stupid'. straight out. no kinder way of ordering their words. just put out there for my heart to know. two words. but two good friends. but i'll get over it. a mild case is nothing compared to a major one...that its why one is mild and one is major.


once i get over japanese test, science test and english speech tomorrow. all would be well...but for now...i 'll just have to stress out ^^
sky-watched today. and ate bread. and listened to the wind rustling the leaves.

The Importance of Fairy floss.

On Friday Jo and I went to the city (WOOOOOOOO) and bought 3 fairy flosses from galaxy world. (yes i didn't know they sold fairy floss either..) our plan was to find someone cool and stalk them and use our fairy flosses to hide behind and then go to paddy's market and friday night markets and i am saying and a lot. It was so fun!! 


Last night i spent 1000000000000000 hours stressing over my speech that i HATE. its NOT funny and it is NOT pursuasive. so. poo. i didn't end up doing it today so i may rewrite it on a completely different topic. and yes, my current topic is about stalking.
everyone's speech was AMAZING. = self esteem levels ...well it doesn't exist to have a level.


oh yeah, lost my phone on sunday and the bus company called today --> they found it ^^
met/saw pepper's brother today AND yesterday!! they are so cute.
i love pepper.
i think that is it for now.
i have japanese test tomorrow, science test on thursday and english speech, massive list of maths exercises due on friday, open day on saturday, naplan next week, trigonometry maths assessment next week, sustainability presentation next week and the final sustainability project due in two weeks AS WELL AS a long-term maths assignment and the fact that i still need to find a community service.


yes. i complain. yes i am ungrateful. yes i am spoilt. yes i am lucky and don't know it.
yes. it is time to get off the computer now.

from the people who have started at zero

We were driving back from our basketball game at FRENSHAM (1.5 hours away)...wait firstly on that note, WE WON 37-3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *flaps arms*
as i was saying..
we were driving back from our basketball game at FRENSHAM (1.5 hours away) (dad and i) and daddy told me a truly true story that really amazed my perception of my parents..


When my dad was a little boy: (one) he wanted to be an artist, (two) he was very fascinated by technology and the school held an assembly and they all sat on the floor and wandered why they were there. they were told they would get to see (for the first time) the black and white television! they waited, and there was fiddling and diddling, but they finally turned it on, and they saw people moving inside a box, and heard sound as they were talking. All within a box.


He loved reading books and learning about the world. He got multiple books on radios and circuits and when he was eleven, he built his own radio....from scratch. I don't know about you, but when i was one one radio was something you listened to music with and i had not a single idea of how it worked. Anyway, he told me it was a 'simple' version with only two components, but he later made a few with more. It was uncommon then to have a radio and it was rather exciting! The whole town knew about his achievement. At this time, his dream was to become an inventor or scientist...


So there was this highly selective school thats even more competitive and hard-to-get-into as a school where you could only get a scholarship to to go. There were only 200 students selected to go as it was considered a very good school in the district. Well...my parents got into that. In fact, not only did my dad in particular get in, well, how do i put this...he...sort of...got top of the school? His dream at this point was to become an entrepreneur (own a business) and travel to a western country and learn English.


He had studied engineering and science so he worked as an assisstant engineer at a government place for a while. He then applied for a scholarship to a university in America. They accepted...but without the free tuition. Even with an uncle's help, at that point it was far too expensive and never a possibility. So he researched and concluded with....(wait for it)... AUSTRALIA (ns all let us rejoice! for we are young and freeee!!) By this time he was 22)


(1988)He came with few cash and few bags. 
first job-Ironing at a clothes factory ($2.50 an hour) but he was too 'slow' so they gave him a labanese wrap and fired him.
second job-kitchen hand at sydney uni ($13 an hour) MASSIVE PAY
third job-handed out newspapers/delivered pizzas ($10 an hour)
fourth job-found an alarm company who needed people who understood basic circuits etc. 
worked there for a while, bringing a sandwiches for lunch from home.


(1988 + 3 months)Before my mum came to Australia, my dad had called her to tell her to LEARN HOW TO SEW to get a job. she dropped-everything-and-learned-to-sew. When she came, she got a job sewing stockings...and then she worked at a nursing home. her job was to help them go to the toilet, wipe their b*ms and clean their sheets when they...um...when they...*beep* *beep* .........*beep*..........*silence* but it was HIGH pay ($15-$20)...still she hated it and found a new job as a nanny/cook. 


(1989) My parents got married 
(1991) Sister was born, bringing them a new fortune of a computer business company
They rented a house, then bought one somewhere else, then KABOOM.
(1996) I was born, and bought house in H-U-N-T-E-R-S   H-I-L-L
(2000) NEW MILLENIUM, went to america as family
(2001) I started school, sister moved schools, moved to current house
(2008) I started highschool, sister in year 12
(2009) sister graduated
(2010) I learn more about life, and none of it was taught at school.


Dad's dreams

1. Be an artist
2. Be inventor
3. Make a computer from scratch
4. Be entrepreneur 
5. Travel to a western country
6. Learn english
7. Be an astronaut

My dreams (don't judge me. if you do. go away.)

1. Speak 3 languages
2. Try modelling
3. Work at American Apparel/General pants
4. Do an international degree or live in Europe or America for one year
5. Try being either a lollipop man or postman (i suppose i want to be a man now?)
6. Be a part time photographer
7. Be a human being, have God

like i said. GO AWAY IF YOU'RE GOING TO JUDGE ME.

and now I will ask a very thoughtful-ish, life-fulfilling and unknown question

What are your dreams?