sorry, i would come up with an awesome title but my creative brain is in lala land.

Quick post before bead. (which should have been 1 hour ago. sigh. i have NO self control..too bad we can't buy that from ebay...okay that was really lame. i told you half my brain is asleep)


You know how (I'm assuming you staring at the screen is most likely someone i know) I had a trumpet obsession and well...was obsessed and searched pictures of them and wanted to learn and was jealous of anyone who knew how? and then time passed and i never did lessons and then my obsession was never fulfilled so I just forgot about it completely and never looked back?


I think this is what my new obsession with learning how to dance is taking me. But hopefully this time, I'll actually be able to link my dreams to my reality.

Hey, I actually got a picture of the moon. It's just a speck here, but I can tell you its way more if you haven't already read a couple of posts down.

and I'll imagine the music playing in my ears when I hear nothing but silence.

above: a polaroid of me wearing THE hat :) sister's camera/photo skills

Its the third day of holidays and I've been pretty productive. 
Saturday.
Went to the city with my sister and halved an AWESOME hat from General Pants. sort of pricey...but yeaaah. then ate at the coffee club and went to the library and TRIED to do maths. Then went to the dentist. Now isn't that very and highly interesting?
Sunday.
Went to church with rachel, ate lunch at pepper lunch and went home early and picked out our decaying letters in our letterbox. Sister's friends were over and they cooked us dinner :) :) (by choice!! we didn't threaten them, promise) Then of course watched Dance academy at 3:40.
Monday.
Stayed at home. Cleaned room, now it looks 'refreshing' !! Tried again to do maths but failed. Practised 15 minutes of piano and did some laundry. Then watched dance academy at 5:20, my sister and I are now in love with Christian. I know what you're thinking and i don't really care...



OMGG i forgot to blog about house choir night!!
it was awesome!! We went to *insert suburb* and ate at this really spiffy cafe thing just inside the shopping centre!! We had wedges, chips (healthyness), pasta, pizza, salad and a few of us got drinks! (not as in alochol...jeez. can't believe you would acuse me of something like that) it was so fun and the couches were really soft..mmmm....soft couch...


I don't know about you, but do you ever get the feeling when you're anticipating for your long-term/life goal to come true but you have a doubt or think that it may not come true and when it doesn't you'll be depressed? I hate knowing that i have the ability to achieve stuff but i might not try hard enough and end up as a rotten potato peel on the streets...

Memory may you never slip between my fingers.

Today was really really REALLY....great!!!

• Had an alarm this morning (past few days we haven't had alarms so we woke up at 7:45...dodgy)
• Still left late but wasn't late to school! (but we only had science :D)
• When I was reading my short story in english, everyone was quiet and was listening =O
• People said they liked me story :)
• During assembly Kath and I were doodling wavy stuff
• Had a yummy recess (BBQ shapes and breadtop bread)
• In double japanese we bludged by attempting to make a 7 page booklet while only managing to complete the title page over one and a half hours (the booklet is only 1/4 of a page sized)
• Had a free lunch!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (aka. no co-curriculars. because i had to pay $3 for my actual lunch which was a...)
• bought a yummy sausage sizzle thingy sandwhich mabob!
• Didn't get food poisoning...(last time a few friends got food poisoning from sausage sizzle...O.O)
• DOUBLE ART.
• Halfway through pot!!
• no. i do not mean pot as in weed/illegal drug pot. i mean CERAMIC pot.
• Inquired two dance studios with carrie
• Got some info
• Bought a 'weak' mocha
• Relaxed at train station
• Caught same train as jo and ivy who came from *insert other station, yes i am being cautious you stalker*
• Made a new friend :) sort of..
• Was originally going to go to parents office and then go out to dinner=BAD because i miss dance academy :P
• BUT we no longer needed to do that so i got driven home JUST IN TIME for the second episode
• Watched second episode
• Practised a bit of piano
• Ate yummy fish that mum cooked
• Talked to mummy about dreams/goals in life
• Practised rest of piano
• Cleaned poop and ate a banana (NOT at the same time..)
• Practised speech (feeling prepared!! sort of..)
• Did Japanese homework
• Did 30 minutes of maths! 
• Am prepared to sleep after this blogpost!!
• Early night!! (9:15)

Yes my list is LONG and yes it is BORING to read. but just read my title :)

did no one ever tell you that the moon was brighter than the sun

today was taking pepper on a walk.

as we left, i looked up at the moon.

and wondered strange things..

why can't you exist?

or why can't you be real?

or why can't you be possible.

if you're wondering, i wasn't talking about the moon, because the moon deserves a story of its own. I was thinking about dreams, goals, situations and life in general. I long for something amazing, something spectacular or special, or to be those things. but yeah. it never seems possible.

now the moon. i was sky-watching and since there were no clouds, the most striking thing today was the crescent moon. it shone even in the day. i was thinking...no one notices the moon until it is night time when its only competition are a bunch of street lights glowing their way along the highway. because during the day, the sun with its brightness and glory shines upon the land, giving life to the earth and bragging. yes. bragging. how is it possible for the moon to show the world how it can shine if the sun is always there?

personally, i find the moon even more beautiful this way. As i was staring at it, two birds flew in parallel lines arcross the sky and i thought, if they're flying in parallel lines...they'll never get to meet, right? wrong. because i think love can't be classified under possible or impossible, it is sort of out there. like time.

and since these days i'm always thinking about dreams and goals, i guess you could say that the moon is a metaphor. there is always going to those people who can shine a hell a lot brighter than you, who get all the glory, who seem so much more amazing. but everyone is like the moon. we all shine, sometimes, we just need someone to notice.

I believe i am destined for all kinds of destiny-fulfilling stuff.

one of my goals in life:
honestly try and be either a actor/dancer/model/singer/photographer. just for a short time. for fun :)
for the singer part, thats failed because i can't sing. but i can gather a group of friends and we can sing in three part harmony because we all know all the leaves are brown...*wink wink*
and the dancer part is also failed. because i can't dance. but i can join a dance class and be nooby and have fun :) and i can dream than i can dance too..
photographer. hmm...aren't we all one already? all you need is your imagination. imaginary camera, imaginary photo, imaginary scene, or you can be materialistic and actually have a camera and something to take a picture of. jeez. aren't you spoilt? ;) i'm joking.
as for acting part...i would LOVE LOVE LOVE to be part of an actual musical one day...but since thats failed too, i can always try for school production. our school is lucky we do it, some other schools can't be stuffed.
and finally. modelling..hmmmm not sure if i'll ever be tall enough but if not i can always tape wedges to my feet and wear stockings over them and no one will notice..



when i want something. really really badly, i dream about it..but usually something goes wrong.

• I was friends with this girl i think is really cool
• I went to her house and realised i had magical powers and could emit energy orbs
• Got depressed that there was no random bad guy to fight
• I hoped  and hoped
• I was choosing a place to fight on a playstation (eg. beach, forest etc.)
• I chose and was on an island but there was no monsters
• Instead there were other people and we were doing something...
• but thats all i remember

Another dream:

• One of my friends: "look! crunchy leaves!"
• My other friend and I saw piles of crunchy autumn leaves covering the ground and under a beautiful autumn tree
• I said "lets enjoy this moment!!"
• We jumped up and down on those crunchy leaves 
• Everything went in slow motion as i jumped up and looked at the beautiful leaves
• Suddenly i realised there was a skeleton thing that was coming to kill us
• So the moment was ruined because we had to run for our lives

And yet those are amongst my most ordinary dreams. Mostly, i dream i can fly. but thats usually only when i realise its a dream and so i can do what i want...but once when i was flying there was an evil dude who was flying behind me trying to kill me. yeah. i dream about something trying to kill me often...

I figured why..okay so a guest speaker at school told us why...but why we love getting involved in books/movies/tv shows that aren't real. because they have something that we wish was true, was real in our own lives. Sometimes, i really want to see what heaven is like (i don't mean it as in i want to commit suicide) but it seems so perfect and where dreams came true...

i wonder if mine will ever come true...

My real pet is a ball of fluff. beat that you non-existing evil goldfish.

Today was unproductive full stop. hahahah thats funny. i said full stop and then put a full stop at the end full stop. okay. moving on.
i went home and sat there and watched tv for 4-5 hours. again. dude i need to sleep so i am awake enough to do work or at least...practise piano or something...sigh.


I LEARNT SOMETHING AWESOME TODAY!
Dance academy is also on at 5:20 on abc 1 and by the time it finishes at 5:50. another episode is on on abc 3 XD awesomenessssss! *cricket noises*
gawd there are some things i hate about movies/shows etc though.

• the main character (when girl) always fantasises about someone she likes and thinks she will never end up with him and that he will never notice her etc.
• she always fricken ends up with him

not that i can really relate to that situation but seriously. that kind of stuff makes reality and our own sad lives seem more sad and bland than usual. hmph. yet i will continue to watch those kind of movies/shows forever and ever because they rock. ahhahah they rock. rock. hahaha.


this new dance show is making wanna dance.
I WAANNNA DANCE!!
nah. can't be bothered. or am i?

WHERE IS MY STOLEN PENSIEVE.

whoah. i haven't blogged in a long while. 
firstly, why are humans so unappreciative? how come we will always find a way to pity ourselves and be so unhappy with the situation we are faced with? seriously. I even have the access to internet to be able to rant about the human race therefore conveying my extreme luckiness and yet I complain heaps. aren't I great? no. however at the same time as i am able to reflect on how unappreciative i am, i makes me feel a little more appreciative though. somehow. Tonight i decided to do the things i had to do (laundry/peppers poop etc.) more willingly. and just help out because the person i'm helping has it a lot worse than i do. and it felt. good. maybe i'll even try it more often?


secondly, today was horrible and extremely great! ahhahaah juxtaposition yussss english technique. In the morning i went to youth group and service and learnt things and thought more about God (obviously) and went to lunch with my friend which was great, then went home. but then i watched 4 hours of tv. thats not so great...my back started hurting and i felt really really unhealthy. so i jumped 200 times. rested. and jumped 200 more times. yup. without a skipping rope. in the comfort of my heated room, staring at the mirror hoping and thinking that if i jumped enough, one day i would be able to grow to that height i jump to....inspiring. somehow.


thirdly, tonight was really fun. We sat as a family, eating a simple but healthy meal cooked by my mum and talked about where we should go for our next holiday. and other stuff. non-business stuff. well most of it anyway, and it was...nice :) my dad said that new zealand is basically the same as australia. i think not. I argued:

• New Zealand is a piece of sediment
• They have 4 sheep per person which is NOT normal

fourthly, i am going to try and pray more often and be more appreciative and 'bothered' with life and helping people and making goals and actually somewhat acheiving them and TRYING to waste less time...i know its just talk and probably unrealistic, but the action starts with the thought..

fifthly, i watched....the world cup last night till 11:30 with my dad. korea vs greece. korea won 2-0. enough said.

sixthly, I HATE HUMAN LOOK A LIKE ROBOTS. i was thinking about it in the middle of the night last night (convenient eh?) and got so freaked out i was mega freaked out. I DON'T WANT TO EVER SEE ONE FOR AT LEAST 50 YEARS OR EVER IF POSSIBLE. jee they are horrible and creepy.

seventhly, dance academy and total drama island are COOL. *new celebrity crush* actually haven't had one in a really long time because everyone is just ugly. google him. jordan rodrigues. *wink wink*

eightly, my goldfish is evil.

Daddy part two.

So remember when i told you about how when my dad was 10 he BUILT A RADIO and his whole town was like 'whoah' because radios in general were like 'whoah' unlike these days when radios a 'meh' and we're all 'whoah' about stupid three dimensional televsion?


well turns out, it wasn't just radios he was interested in. I was playing Through the Kaleidescope on piano by Steven Cravis, and i was talking to my parents about the title, and i asked my dad if he knew what a keleidescope was, and ofcourse, he did, i got out a really cheapo one in the cupboard, and he looked through it while i played, well, through the kaleidescope! i thought that was pretty cool. he said when he was younger, the family had one, and he'd stare at it for ages and wonder how on earth it worked. So he took it apart and figured it out. mirrors. but he couldn't put it back together again so he told his dad he 'dropped it'. you can probably guess whether or not his dad chose to believe him...


Another 'whoah' thing when he was young was clocks. they had one in the family and it was put somewhere where the children couldn't reach it, because it was that precious. My dad couldn't figure out how come every hour or so, a chicken would pop out of nowhere and how it worked in general, so he took it, and, er, took it apart using screws etc. Unfortunately, he couldn't remember how he had took it apart, and he left it. broken. His dad eventually found out and he got in BIG trouble. They ended up keeping their fixed new clock only in his parents room where NO ONE but them could see touch it.


I asked him about his brothers. Did they like to take apart stuff too? Turns out. they did. His second eldest brother was interested in bikes and cars. When they got a really crappy bike, he took it apart and reassembled it. Eventually, he learnt how to fix bikes. The town would give him bikes to fix, and he'd fix it. His eldest brother built cages for their chickens and other animals. Yes. they lived on a farm. in the country. in a village. in china. Apparently his third eldest (my dad is 4th and youngest son) didn't specialise in much, just liked reading. :)


I realised. I LOVE listening about stories about my parents. their lives are so much more interesting than ours. They have experienced a lot more than we can ever imagine. So many things have changed and they've watched the world develop around them. 'struggles' is an underestatement. For me. a lucky next generation kid born in australia going to a good school, the hardest thing right now is getting over this virus thing and trying to appreciate stuff.


As for this super-long post, it doesn't end. go ahead, fall asleep, i'll scream in your ear when i'm done.


I watched spirit today. twice. and like i said a couple posts ago. I WANT TO BE A HORSE. watching them run so wild and so free in such a beautiful environment...so inspiring...and making me depressed. The soundtrack is gorgeous and I REALLY. REALLY. WANT. TO. BE. A HORSE. preferrably Spirit's girlfriend :)


*screams
good day.

Dear today, you are so beautiful that i metaphorically wrote you a sonnet.

Sick at home. again. I GUESS i sort of feel better...but not really.

I'm reading the Time Traveller's wife, yes yes yes you should  read it.

I miss my friends and I WANT TO GO BACK TO SCHOOL (?)

I'm craving both Italian food and pizza shapes which i have in my cupboard but unfortunately can not eat.

JOB PLAN!!

After term 3 exams 2010-->McDonalds

Half a year later 2011-->Supre (hopefully)

After graduation-->parents shop

Sometime in Uni--> AMERICAN APPAREL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*cough*unrealistic *cough*

what can i say, but

its a beautiful day,

its a beautiful day,

its a beautiful day,

FOR CANCER.

minus the above by 1 and line total is 14 and therefore SONNET.

Sorry mr virus, i thought you were mrs fever's son.

turns out i have a 'virus' not a 'fever'.
well, here are the positive things mr virus has given and taught me:

• my mummy does a lot for me, and i do nearly nothing in return, except for the everlasting complaints
• I spent today with my daddy, we went to the doctors and found a rare 'treasure shop' where it sold vintage wares for a spasticly cheap price
• my dog pepper DOES get lonely
• My friends care about me :) :)
• I have the ability to go on facebook for only 3.47 minutes
• I get to miss so much maths work that when i get back i will fail
• I browsed my dad's iphone and drooled over the endless instant/hipstamatic/polaroid/film effects on applications
• i guess i appreciate more..
• when you laugh and you have a cough, both seem to combine in a harmonious joint that brings tears of a rare specimen of both pain and joy
• My dad feels like he's only been in Australia for 3-5 years
• TIME RIDES ON A NIMBUS 900000000000 AND BY THE TIME YOU REALISE WHAT IT IS YOU'RE DEAD.

okay. i'm not quite sure what that last point meant....